Trials of Adam, Ch5- Tiny Dancer
I had a port in my hand for blood draws and another in my chest. My PICC line was still in my neck, but it would be used for IV fluids outside of my chemo sessions. From what I knew of chemo, I expected to become violently ill but that wasn’t the case. I simply became tired; very, very tired. Days seemed to drift in and out with the flow of light.
Moments, memories; everything seemed to blur into a mixture of dreams and reality. I saw flashes from my childhood, instants that felt so real. I could remember being held in my mother’s arms as she tried to protect me from my father. My beautiful mother told me she loved me, she begged me to be strong even as she bled out. In high school when I tried to commit suicide, only for my grandmother to find my body hanging in the closet. I remember her crying, praying. She told me I was loved; God had a purpose for me.
I awoke to the sight of my very pregnant wife sitting in a wheelchair. “Hey, Adam.”
“Hey, Marni.” I had to assume this was reality; my body ached all over and taking a single breath felt like a marathon.
“You’re not going to see me for a while,” she said softly, cupping her hands over her stomach.
“Because I’m in labor. I mean, my water broke,” Marni said with a shrug. “I’m sure I have another few hours of pushing. But I didn’t want to disappear without saying goodbye.”
“G-Goodbye?” I could feel a sharp pain my chest. This could not be happening.
“I’m sure I can’t visit you with a newborn. But I’ll be back, I promise.”
I nodded, since there was nothing I could do in my current state. “Where’s Cece?”
“She went to get you something to eat. You need to keep your strength up.”
“Ok,” that was truly all I could think to say. Marni seemed abnormally calm for someone in labor.
“Just go to sleep,” said an unseen male voice.
“What?” My eyes closed on their own, falling into a deep peaceful sleep. The room went dark, caressing my mind with the sound of ocean waves. I was feeling comfortable, when suddenly a spotlight blasted me in the face. The light was not heaven or anything of the sort, it was jarring and bright as if I was on a stage. “Fuck, man!”
When my vision returned, Jamie was leaning on my bed. He held his hands behind his head, in a stretch, like some kind of cartoon surfer stereotype. “Chemo brain is a real bitch.”
“Yeah,” I grumbled. “It must have been a lot more fun to die of a meth overdose.”
Jamie rested his head on my shoulder. “I see your sense of humor is still intact.”
“Where’s my daughter?” I asked with a groan.
“She’ll be here soon, but I needed to talk to you alone.” Jamie stood up, intentionally poking me right below my port.
The pain was more than a little confusing. “So, talk.”
“Fine, I’ll get straight to the point; you have to let her go.”
“Cece- duh! this is what I’m worried about; she has a great future with so much potential but she’s going to get stuck taking care of your crippled ass.”
“You don’t know what you’re taking about.” We had plans, dreams. I just couldn’t remember what they were.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
With a loud ‘clank,’ the lights came on in the room. I was back in the hospital, with no Jamie, no Marni, just my chemo port. Suddenly, Cece walked in looking as healthy and perfect as ever. “Hi, Daddy.” She sipped a Starbucks cup, the kind with no straw. “You have to try this, it’s so good!” Cece stood tall, strong, healed. She came closer, carefully placing the cup in my hands. “Peppermint mocha,” she said with a sweet smile. “It shouldn’t hurt your stomach too badly.”
The paper cup was warm, soothing. Holding the cup against my inner wrist sent a rush of heat that felt euphoric. Taking a sip of the sweet coffee drink, the warm, comforting liquid feels soothing in a way that I never knew possible.
“I found an apartment in Colorado Springs. I figure I can get a job on base and start to apply to online programs. Working part time and living off financial aid, should be enough to pay the bills.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Cece asked with a noticeable smirk. Judging by her expression this was a conversation we had already been through many times. “You’re going to finish your degree along with me,” she said as she took a seat and held my hand.
Yes, of course! Even before I left for Alaska we talked about my unfinished degree in mathematics. I had been taking online classes through military sponsored programs but even after two decades I was a few credits short of my master’s degree. I had dreams and goals. I just needed Cece there to remind me. “I remember.”
“You’re going to write a book, and if the cancer still hasn’t taken you, you’re going to teach.” Cece started to massage my hand with deep pressure. “Take deep breaths,” she explained. She focused on my palm, working outward to my fingertips. “You need to calm down before you black out again.”
I was prone to blackouts? That explained the missing chunks of time. Jamie was right. “M-My mind has gotten really bad. The last thing I want is to hold you back.”
“You know I was kidding, right?” she asked in a truly innocent tone. “I know the cancer isn’t going to take you. I believe in you. And you don’t hold me back. You have never held me back.” Her voice was confident, strong. “If you like, we can wait until mom and the baby are well enough to travel with us.”
Where was Marni? How long had it been? “I-I think that’s it, I just miss your mother.”
“I’ll have to make sure she comes to visit when you’re actually awake.” Cece said softly. “I can’t believe you still haven’t met the baby.” She ended her hand massage with a tender kiss to my knuckles. “Finish your drink, you need the calories to keep your strength up.”
I forced myself to take another sip. I was thirsty, that much was certain. I drank until it became uncomfortable to swallow anymore. As I lowered the cup to my tray table, I felt the distinct touch of Cece’s finger on my lower lip. “What is it, Darlin’?”
“Your lips are so dry.” Cece was leaning on my shoulder, pressing her cheek to my exposed skin, dangerously close to my port. In one hand she held her phone. Cece seemed to be scrolling through Instagram or some sort of image site. But my daughter’s other hand was mindlessly touching my face.
“That feels really nice.” I smiled as she traced my mouth moving down to the unshaven stubble of my chin. “You know, you don’t owe me anything.”
“I know.” Cece withdrew her hand, making a point to caress my cheek. “But you’re my best friend and nothing will ever change that.”
“Thank you, that really means a lot.”
“I’ll make sure to tell the nurse to bring in some lip balm. She leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Now, try to get some sleep.”
I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of her touch. She cupped my face, moving her lips in delicate sucking motions, down the bridge of my node to my lips. And then she kissed me, deep, and sensual. I could feel her tongue in my mouth, the ball of her piercing caressing my gums.
Cece didn’t have a tongue piercing.
“Marni?” I asked, with my eyes still closed. If I was wrong, I truly didn’t want to know.
“Yes, my love,” Marni said, in a sweet, sexy voice. She continued to kiss me with an open mouth. Her tongue felt like silk. She tasted of peppermint, white chocolate, with a hint of spice. “I’ve missed you, Adam. Merry Christmas.”
“Christmas?” That would mean I’d been sick for over a month. Where had that time gone?
“I want to give you your gift.” Marni moved her lips to my ear, whispering in a soft, tingly breath, “I’m going to worship every inch of your body.”
Only then did I open my eyes, turning my head to see if this was truly a dream. She was there; my beautiful wife was by my side.
Marni kissed my lower lip, giving it a soft bite. “I really want to give you a shave.” She kissed my neck, down my throat.
Marni kissed my lower lip, giving it a soft bite. “God, I missed you.”
A rush of tenderness washed over my skin.
“I really want to give you a shave,” she said with a smile as she kissed my neck, down my throat.
I felt the weight and warmth of her sizable breasts against my chest, as she licked the dark blond stubble that reached nearly to my collarbone. I could feel my body; my heart, my soul, my dick.
With every touch, I felt more of my skin, muscle; I felt human again. My body was thinner, weaker, but I was alive. Marni’s hands moved lower to my hips, down to my erect cock, pressing against my thigh. She started to jerk me off. That was when I realized I was no longer in a hospital bed. The room was different; big and bright with natural light coming from a massive window. Was this a hotel? No, this was on-base housing. “Are we in Colorado?”
Marni visibly gulped down her emotions, forcing a smile. “Yes we are, Adam. I want you to lay back and relax, this is going to help with the pain.”
By the light of the window she seemed to glow, like an angel. “Is this a dream.”
“No, baby, I’m as real as the sunlight,” her voice was breaking, as if she was about to cry. “Now just lay back and let me love you.”
I laid back as she slowly removed the blanket, full revealing my body. It was all I could do not to sob as Marni stroked my slender chest, careful of my chemo port. I still flinched at the pressure of the wound.
“I’m going to touch you, but only in ways you want to be touched.”
I nodded. My heart, racing as she touched my left pectoral, down to my areola which was already hard.
She kissed my nipple while stroking her fingers down my chest. “Do you like that?” Marni crawled into bed with me, dressed in t-shirt and sweatpants.
I reached my hand to her waist under the fabric of her shirt. “Yeah, I do.”
Caressing the bare skin of her hip, I moved my hand further up, tracing her curves. “I want you.”
Marni placed her hand over mine. Her gaze held a look of hesitation. “You’ve been very sick. I was told to be cautious of your heart-rate.”
“My heart’s plenty strong.” I could feel the moisture from her swollen breasts. In that moment there was nothing I wanted more, than to feel her tits in my mouth. “Take your shirt off.”
“I’ll take my shirt off, but I want you to lay back.”
I did as she asked. I knew I had to. Just how fucked was my heart?
“Now be gentle,” Marni said as she guided my hand, “and go slow.”
In that moment none of it mattered. I closed my eyes and licked my lips. Her tits were engorged with milk for her baby, her son. My beautiful wife stroked her large nipples along my lips, allowing me just a taste, before straddling my hips.
I gripped her legs, clamping my fingers down on her soft, supple thighs. I wanted so badly to fuck, but I felt Marni guiding my hands to my sides.
“At-ease, commander.” She massaged my amputated leg, lifting my hips.
Before I could even react, my wife took my cock down her throat, letting her saliva drip down to my balls. I climaxed harder than I ever thought possible.
“I’m going to help you clean up, now.” Marni helped me into the bathroom, where she drew me a bath in our spacious hot tub. I knew what it was; a one of those set-ups meant for the elderly or disabled. With my one leg, and apparently f-ed up brain I certainly qualified. I put my hands behind my head, comfortably resting my back.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of knocking on the door.
“Mom, I have to get to work!” Cece shouted over the sound of a crying baby. “You need to take Greg!”
Marni opened the door with her exposed breasts in full view, this seemed to calm the crying baby, enough for Cece to hand him over. “Is little Gregory hungry?”
Cece, despite wearing a professional two-piece suit ran over, putting her arms around me. “Oh my God, Daddy!”
I carefully returned the hug.
“I’m so glad you’re awake!” She paused, with the sudden realization of her wet sleeves. “I’ll tell you all about my internship when I get home.” She kissed my forehead, “love you!”
Marni took a seat by the tub, just close enough for me to get a view of the baby. “Do you remember your son?”
“My son?” I asked.
“Adam Severgine is the name on the birth certificate, so in the eyes of the law and the US military, Adam Severgine is the father of my son: our son.”
I knew what she meant. If Matthew Remy wanted to claim the child he would have to go out of his way to subpoena the court for a DNA test but until then Marni would have the legal right to claim the baby as mine. “Can I hold him?”
“Of course.” The request brought tears to her eyes.
When I looked at the little boy’s face, my heart nearly stopped. “He has blue eyes?”
“God and DNA work in mysterious ways.” The baby turned his head, reaching for Marni. “I’ll bring little Gregory back after his feeding, you get some rest.”
“It was Cece’s idea, she said he looked like a Gregory; Gregory Phoenix Severgine.”
I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. ‘Leo? Where are you?’
I opened my eyes to see Leo sitting across from me, making himself comfortable in the warm water. “Hey, Adam.”
“Hey.” I said with a nod. “When’s the next big drop in this roller-coaster?”
Leo dunked his hand in the water, before running his fingers through his hair. “You have late-stage leukemia.”
“Wow, no need to sugar coat it.”
“I’m sorry, I really am,” Leo said with a sigh.
“How did I get to Colorado?” I asked. I assumed he had been watching over me.
“Yes, I was watching over you.” Leo seemed distressed, almost angry. “I watched the infection in your heart spread to your brain. I watched your wife and daughter make the decision to keep you in a medically induced coma for the transfer to Colorado.”
With how much pain and discomfort I was in, I couldn’t say I was surprised. “How long do I have?”
Leo shrugged. “Two years, maybe more.”
I cupped my hand over my mouth as I forced a nod. I was the one directing this conversation. “And?”
“The last six months to a year will be on a respirator after your organs fail.”
“So, what, now? What can I do?”
“You can live,” he said with a knowing gesture of approval. “Some might say I’ve watched you struggle, but in my eyes, I watched you fight. You still have decisions to make, choices that will impact your future and your legacy.”
I had, to admit he had a point. “What’s going to happen if I make the wrong choices?”
“For you? the difference between light and darkness.”
“What about me?” Leo asked with a sneer. “You think I don’t have a dog in the fight?”
Suddenly, a cold chill swept through the room, followed by a flash of light. The energy was palpable.
Jamie stood in the corner, leaning against the door. He seemed pissed, or as a pissed as a teenage flower-child could look. “You’re a real piece of work, Adam.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “And you look like one of those ghosts who crawl out of a broken television.”
Jamie rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. He shook his head, punching his hand as if trying to come off as intimidating. “It’s all about you; it’s only ever been about you!”
Leo sighed, “Jamie, please.”
“No!” Jamie roared. “Not when we know who he is,” his eyes went narrow with rage as he spoke, “and what he is.”
“Be that as it may, it’s our job to help him find a way home.”
“No, it’s not,” Jamie said coldly as he took a step forward. “I saved Cece. I told her to contact your old chain of command, General Blake- and everyone who still believes you didn’t mean to go AWOL. They landed Cece a position with a civilian construction firm. She’s going to go to college, she’s going to get a degree in engineering and make something of herself. The best you can do for your family is to just die already!” Jamie grabbed my shoulder, slamming hard on my port. “Leave, just like you always do.” He took one last moment to spit in my face.
Leo stood up, forcibly pulling Jamie away. “That’s enough!”
Jamie turned to Leo with tears of frustration. “He’ll never understand.”
Leo gripped Jamie’s arm like a disappointed parent. “Do me a favor and go watch over Cece.”
Jamie nodded and walked into the shadows, finally leaving the room.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “What the fuck was that about?”
“We are all old souls, some more than others. You…” Leo said with a confident smile. “You’re not unlike the souls i used to track in my demon hunting days.”
“Are you saying I’m a demon?”
“That’s up to you.” Leo stepped out of the bath, grabbing a nearby towel. “I know you played baseball, in high school. So, think of it this way. This isn’t your first time at bat. And spirits like Jamie- well, they have the tendency to believe that people don’t deserve infinite chances.”
“Because not everyone gets infinite chances?”
“Not everyone needs them,” Leo sighed, looking into the darkness. “Time for you to wake up.”