I turn on the shower. The water caresses my face, my chest, down my abs. I shudder.
It’s been years since Lisa forced herself on my unconscious body. Sometimes I wish she had cut my dick off. Any stimulation resulted in flashbacks; memories of waking up on the bathroom floor bleeding from my head.
But tonight is different. I went on a date with Jen, a girl I met in support group.
Her story was so much worse than mine, her ex had pimped her out, beating her when she didn’t comply. Yet on our date, she held my hand, touching my self-harm scars. “…mantenerte fuerte.” Her lips met mine.
If Jen could be brave, maybe I could too. My hands moved to my penis. At first, I flinch. I close my eyes, focusing on Jen. I see her face. I can feel her kiss.
Your soft pouty lips, your caramel colored skin.
I picture her naked in bed, her fingers between her legs. Her breasts as she arches her back.
Jen, I would never make you touch me…
I grip the shower rod, steadying my body.
Your sexy curves, your luscious mouth- I want you so bad.